Sometimes, ADHD and loneliness go together. Here’s why.
This is a post I wrote a couple of years ago, just before my divorce. It’s a goody.
This week I’m writing about ADHD and loneliness. I hate thinking about loneliness and I hate feeling lonely. For me, loneliness is as raw as I can get. I don’t like raw all that much. Do you?
I think it’s hard to be the person I’m meant to be, the person that I am. I’m afraid that I’ll end up all alone. Some of you know exactly what I mean:
- It’s cute and quirky to have A.D.D. unless my quirks get in your way. Then I annoy you.
- It’s good to be lively, unless I’m boisterous. Then you think I’m out of control.
- It’s good to be smart unless I’m extra smart. Then I scare you a little.
- It’s good to be wise unless my wisdom is incomprehensible to you. Then you assume that I’m off-topic and foolish.
- It’s okay to have A.D.H.D. unless I’m “TOO ADD” Then I’m inappropriate.
Trying to hide the edges of my square peg
I have a hard time when people characterize themselves as quirky. In my opinion, you’re not quirky, you’re not a square peg, unless you know how lonely it is to not fit in. And I don’t mean Lonely-in-a-foreign-country or Lonely-in-a-strange-situation either. For people with ADHD, almost every situation is foreign and strange in the beginning. It’s just how we roll.
Some people with ADHD – often men, who generally fit into our society better than women anyways – don’t know what it’s like to not fit in. Those are the men that run the country. They make the world fit THEM, rather than trying to fit themselves into the world.
Those of us who feel we don’t fit in are always trying to change ourselves. It doesn’t occur to us that the world should change.
What if people with ADHD are here to change the world?
What if all the parents of ADHD kids said, “I don’t know what your life purpose is – you’ll get to figure that out as you get older – but I know you’re here for something important because you have ADHD!” Anyone, besides me, crying right now?
Claim your ADHD!
We’re never allowed to think of ourselves as important and deserving and powerful and wise and strong BECAUSE we have ADHD. We’re nearly always the ones who have to change for THE WORLD’s comfort level. I’m tired of that. It’s not that we don’t understand the world – we can learn that -, it’s that THE WORLD DOESN’T UNDERSTAND US.
I HAVE ADHD AND I’M HERE TO CHANGE THE WORLD, SO WATCH OUT! YOUR LIFE JUST GOT AWESOME!
Tell THAT to your children’s teachers!
Put THAT sign on your child’s bedroom door!
Make THAT your mantra!
Who’s with me??????
Copyright 2017 Yafa Luria/Margit Crane All Rights Reserved
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