What scary thing are you avoiding when it comes to your child’s ADHD?
For some of you it’s putting your child on meds; for some it’s deciding not to.
For some of you it’s getting your own ADHD diagnosis; for some it’s following through on that diagnosis.
For some of you it’s exploring ADHD coaching for your family: for some it’s making other big changes in your family.
My point is: that thing you’re afraid to face and make a decision about, needs a decision. You need to face it for your ADHD child’s sake. The reason you’re not facing it is because it’s freaking scary and may destroy the world you’ve created. No small thing.
But what if it builds a better world?
Sometimes God comes with a wrecking ball…
I heard a “joke” about a man who tries to make improvements to his house. His wallpaper is torn, so he gets new wallpaper. His HVAC isn’t working so he gets new equipment. His carpet is waterlogged so he gets new carpet. One day, sick of the never-ending “improvements” he asks God, “Look, would you just tell me what I’m supposed to do here?” And the next day, God comes with a wrecking ball and says, “None of these improvements will work as long as your foundation is shifting. I’m leveling the house.”
Is that a Trick or a Treat story?
Well, here’s the thing: Having your foundation shaken and destroyed, having to start over – those are terrifying. But the point of the story is that all those little fixes aren’t working because the problem is bigger than a series of “band-aid solutions.” Those fixes can’t work, will never work, when you haven’t addressed the bigger issue: the foundation.
This is not a story of destruction; it’s a story of reconstruction
Ultimately, the point of this story isn’t that you have to suffer through destruction but that, with that destruction, comes reconstruction: the opportunity to build anew, to strengthen the foundation, to create something that will stand the test of time.
That’s what ADHD Coaching does. I take a family’s patchwork and turn it into something that makes sense, that reflects the family’s unique character and values, something that will offer shelter through to adulthood.
Why can I do what you haven’t been able to do yourself?
That’s an easy question to answer: I have 30 years of experience working with ADHD kids, teens and families, first as a teacher and school counselor and, now, as an ADHD advocate, strategist, and family coach. I was one of the first adults to be diagnosed with ADHD back in 1980 when it was called, “Minimal Brain Dysfunction.” Back then I spoke to doctors and therapists about what it was like growing up with ADHD, because we newly diagnosed adults had better access to those memories, we were better able to translate them into how they affected adulthood, and we were able to pioneer interventions like coaching and cognitive behavioral therapy.
So what’s so SCARY about making that decision? I would suggest that, understandably, you are focused on the wrecking ball and I am focused on the rebuild.
It’s the scary decision that sets us free.
It’s the thing we’ve been hoping for, waiting for, praying for, and all we had to do was look at it square in the eye and say, “Let’s do this.”
So to return to some of those decisions you’re faced with:
- Decide to put your child on meds and just do it, but make sure there’s a treatment plan in place. Medication is not a treatment plan. It’s a singular treatment for a condition that is multi-faceted. OR: Don’t put your child on meds but make sure that he/she is still on an ADHD treatment plan. The brain needs supplementation of some sort.
- If you suspect you have ADHD, why not get a diagnosis? ADHD isn’t like having a cold or a headache. It’s not something you can wait out, knowing that rest, some aspirin, and the passing of time will heal you. If you have ADHD and you are frazzled, you deserve a diagnosis so that you can get the help you need. OR: if you’ve already been diagnosed, go get that treatment plan. There are a wide variety of treatments. Find the one that’s best for you. Your diagnosis and treatment will make a huge difference to your child – after all, it’s hard to lead a family when the leaders are distracted or discouraged.
- As for ADHD Coaching, what’s stopping you? It’s worth checking out what I can offer. It’s not an all or nothing situation. I would encourage you to give me a call or send an email. Join us on Facebook. My experience with ADHD coaching is that it’s life changing. It’s hard to have a big life, to be successful and happy, without a guide, a mentor, someone who’s been exactly where your child is now.
Do that scary thing. It’s calling to you because it needs attention. It will change your child’s ADHD experience.
Copyright 2017 Yafa Luria/Margit Crane All Rights Reserved
What troubles you about parenting an ADHD child or teen?
Let’s talk! No judgment, no salesy come-on. However you WILL receive a good deal of TLC and a slew of strategies. You can say anything. You can cry. You can swear. Your confidentiality is guaranteed, and I promise to listen and give you hope and relief. (You might even find yourself spontaneously doing a happy dance).
“Thank you Yafa. You’ve given me incredibly helpful tools! It was really a pleasure to speak with you. I’ll be back in touch in the coming weeks.” Stella R, Portland, OR.
“I really appreciate that I could be vulnerable and you didn’t shoot me down. I feel comfortable with you and your humor brightened the call.” Danielle A, Bellingham, WA.
“I talked with you a year ago, Yafa, and your voice is always in my head, guiding me. I just wanted to email and thank you.” April W, Queensland, Australia
“Thank you for your encouraging, enlightening suggestions.” Jill E, Seattle, WA.
Thank you for ‘being there’ to share your wealth of knowledge and personal experience with us who are ‘floundering’ and ‘lost in the forest’ when it comes to ‘dealing with special and difficult circumstances’. Gratefully yours, Rochelle H, Alberta, Canada xox ((((BIG HUGS)))
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