Family Coaching | Make Change Work For You

by Yafa Crane Luria


So you’re ready, willing, and able to effect some changes in your family. You want more harmony, more serenity, MORE HUGS! Change can be scary but these tips will help you ride the wave of change to happy and successful conclusion:

1. Change must be gentle. Don’t withhold love just because you’re setting limits. At the same time, some pain will often accompany even minor changes. Think of it this way:  aren’t you already in pain?? Don’t let fear immobilize you.

2. Change must be ongoing. At their core, kids require consistency, and they are constantly (and, often, unconsciously) looking for it. At the same time, one of the paradoxes of growing up is that kids test the limits all the time! But testing is nothing compared to the danger your child is in if you give up.

Teens are programmed to look for inconsistencies. Their brains get a “jump” when you “drop the ball.”  Expect them to test you (you already know that, don’t you?).  The reason they test you is to make sure that home is still there when they are done exploring.

3. Effective consequences both hurt and help. As a parent, it is common to feel pained by having to restrict your children’s freedom. Your children will likely let you know how horrible you are and how horrible they feel. That is part of the process.  On the other side of that is true freedom – for you, the knowledge that you are helping to create a healthy adult; for your child, the knowledge that their world makes sense.

4. Your behavioral expectations are informed by the culture of your family and by your children’s unique needs. Some kids will need much more supervision than others. At the same time, you can create many expectations that serve everyone. If your children are worried about “fairness” know that you create “fairness” by identifying and championing those behaviors that promote the emotional and physical well-being of your family.

5. Develop and practice effective communication skills. This combines clear language with openhearted connection.  It’s a win-win for you and your family. Check out How To Train Your Parents in 6 1/2 Days for great communication

xo, Yafa

Copyright 2017 Yafa Luria/Margit Crane All Rights Reserved


What troubles you about parenting an ADHD child or teen?

Let’s talk! No judgment, no salesy come-on. However you WILL receive a good deal of TLC and a slew of strategies. You can say anything. You can cry. You can swear. Your confidentiality is guaranteed, and I promise to listen and give you hope and relief. (You might even find yourself spontaneously doing a happy dance).

“Thank you Yafa. You’ve given me incredibly helpful tools! It was really a pleasure to speak with you. I’ll be back in touch in the coming weeks.” Stella R, Portland, OR.

“I really appreciate that I could be vulnerable and you didn’t shoot me down. I feel comfortable with you and your humor brightened the call.” Danielle A, Bellingham, WA.

“I talked with you a year ago, Yafa, and your voice is always in my head, guiding me. I just wanted to email and thank you.” April W, Queensland, Australia

“Thank you for your encouraging, enlightening suggestions.” Jill E, Seattle, WA.

Thank you for ‘being there’ to share your wealth of knowledge and personal experience with us who are ‘floundering’ and ‘lost in the forest’ when it comes to ‘dealing with special and difficult circumstances’. Gratefully yours, Rochelle H, Alberta, Canada xox ((((BIG HUGS)))

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