Under-treated ADHD children can become under-achieving ADHD adults
As pretty much everyone who has ever met me or spoken to me knows, I’m very upbeat about ADHD. I think kids with ADHD, particularly, kick some serious booty. They tend to be full of vibrant, passionate, creative, delightful, spirited energy. I think they’re hysterical. They can also be frustrated, confused, scared, and angry. Parents are not the cause of this; ADHD is. Or rather, what we don’t know about ADHD is what’s causing the less-than-charming behavior. Even with a treatment, ADHD can be under-treated. ADHD requires a treatment plan not just a treatment.
What I’ve learned from adults with ADHD
Several years ago I had the opportunity to coach adults from ages 21 – 60 and I learned that I had to coach them completely differently than I coach children and families, and NOT – to my surprise – because they were adults and children are children. I had to coach them differently because a good number of adults with a later diagnosis of ADHD are suffering more than the kids.
Kids with ADHD have a rough go of it, to be sure. There are teachers and therapists and assorted random adults and children telling them that they don’t measure up, that they’re not reaching their potential, and that they’ll amount to very little unless something changes. It is painful to be a kid with ADHD. Big spirit, tiny body, at least in terms of how much power they have in the world.
Now imagine that that child never gets identified as having ADHD, never has the love and unconditional support of his/her parents, never has anyone significant to tell him/her that they’re all wrong, that he or she is magnificent and can achieve great things, never had the chance to BE magnificent. They become – as adults – small spirit, big body. They’re now old enough to express their gifts but those gifts have been flattened by years of hearing the message that they’re not doing enough, that they simply aren’t enough.
An untreated or under-treated child often turns into a frustrated, sad, purposeless adult
Let me clarify:
By treatment, I don’t mean medication, though that is one component. Unless you have a cold, most conditions come with treatments plans. Someone with diabetes isn’t just told to take medicine. Someone with pneumonia doesn’t just take medicine. Someone with appendicitis doesn’t just take medicine.
For ADHD, a treatment plan involves coaching.
I’ve seen all kinds of families: families that send their kids to special schools, public school, alternative school, private school or they homeschool. I’ve seen families that study ADHD and attend parents’ groups, families that console each other on Facebook, and families that attend retreats and conferences.
Many of them are still struggling with how to parent an ADHD child or teen and that is so unnecessary! It doesn’t have to be a struggle.
If your family isn’t receiving coaching, there’s more to add to that treatment plan.
Beyond that, what I offer is life-changing. It won’t just change your present world, it will change your future relationship with your child, and it will change your child’s future.
You’re raising a world leader, a creative genius, a gifted teacher or doctor. We need him/her as healthy and ready as possible!
Copyright 2017 Yafa Luria/Margit Crane All Rights Reserved
What troubles you about parenting an ADHD child or teen?
Let’s talk! No judgment, no salesy come-on. However you WILL receive a good deal of TLC and a slew of strategies. You can say anything. You can cry. You can swear. Your confidentiality is guaranteed, and I promise to listen and give you hope and relief. (You might even find yourself spontaneously doing a happy dance).
“Thank you Yafa. You’ve given me incredibly helpful tools! It was really a pleasure to speak with you. I’ll be back in touch in the coming weeks.” Stella R, Portland, OR.
“I really appreciate that I could be vulnerable and you didn’t shoot me down. I feel comfortable with you and your humor brightened the call.” Danielle A, Bellingham, WA.
“I talked with you a year ago, Yafa, and your voice is always in my head, guiding me. I just wanted to email and thank you.” April W, Queensland, Australia
“Thank you for your encouraging, enlightening suggestions.” Jill E, Seattle, WA.
Thank you for ‘being there’ to share your wealth of knowledge and personal experience with us who are ‘floundering’ and ‘lost in the forest’ when it comes to ‘dealing with special and difficult circumstances’. Gratefully yours, Rochelle H, Alberta, Canada xox ((((BIG HUGS)))
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